What If You Regret Becoming a Doctor?

You worked for this.
Sacrificed for this.
Shaped your identity, your relationships, your future—around this.

And now, somewhere deep inside, you’re wondering:

Did I make the wrong choice?
Was it worth it?
What else could my life have been?

It’s a question most doctors don’t say out loud.
But in therapy—behind closed doors, once trust is built—it comes up more than you’d think.

This doesn’t mean you hate medicine.
It doesn’t mean you’re weak or ungrateful.

It means you’re human.
And it means something in you deserves to be heard.

Regret Isn’t the Whole Story—But It’s Part of It

Regret doesn’t always mean you want to leave.
Sometimes it means:

• You miss parts of yourself that medicine pushed away

• You carry grief for what it cost you—relationships, time, health

• You feel trapped, and no one knows

• You’ve built success on a foundation that now feels unstable

• You don’t know who you’d be if you weren’t a physician

These are real, valid questions.
And most physicians have never had a safe space to explore them without fear of being judged, “diagnosed,” or talked out of it.

Why It’s So Hard to Admit Regret in Medicine

Because medicine is supposed to be a calling.
Because you gave up too much to turn back.
Because your identity is fused with your profession.
Because regret threatens the whole structure.

And because if you start to feel it, you don’t know what it would mean.

So instead, you:

• Power through

• Rationalize it

• Blame the system

• Fantasize about quitting—but never make a move

• Numb out, disconnect, or shut down

That’s not avoidance.
That’s survival.

Case Story: The Internist Who Couldn’t Say It Out Loud (Edited For Privacy)

Dr. R was a well-respected internist, mid-50s, who’d been practicing for almost three decades. He came into therapy not with burnout or crisis, but with a persistent heaviness.

It took weeks before he said what was really on his mind: “Sometimes I think I should have done something else with my life.”

He was terrified that saying it meant he was ungrateful—or worse, betraying the people who looked up to him.

In therapy, we unpacked this slowly. We traced it back to his early years—how medicine had always been the plan, how success became his only compass, how the parts of him that loved art, music, or even leisure were abandoned as impractical.

EMDR Therapy helped him release the emotional grip of specific moments: a mentor’s suicide, a lawsuit, the loss of a patient he blamed himself for. Through parts work, we made room for the version of him that still loved his patients—and the one that longed for something else.

He didn’t quit medicine.
But he stopped hiding from himself.
And that changed everything.

What Therapy Offers That Nothing Else Does

This isn’t about “fixing” your regret.
It’s about exploring it—honestly, safely, and without consequences.

In therapy, you get a space where you don’t have to protect the profession.
Where you don’t have to filter what you say.
Where it’s not about convincing anyone else—or even yourself—that you’re fine.

We use:

• Existential and Depth Therapy
  To explore your identity, purpose, and the emotional weight of regret—without needing to resolve it right away.

• EMDR Therapy
  To release specific moments—training, mistakes, patient loss, system failure—that left emotional residue you still carry.

• Parts Work
  To acknowledge the internal conflict: the part that still believes, and the part that’s tired of pretending.

This isn’t therapy for people who are broken.
It’s therapy for people who’ve carried something alone for too long.

What Might Shift

You may not leave medicine.
You may not change anything externally.

But many clients report:

• A softening of the internal fight

• A reconnection to the why they started—even if it’s different now

• A new sense of agency about how they work, lead, or live

• A release of guilt that’s been stealing energy for years

• A return of clarity and peace—even without all the answers

Therapy doesn’t demand a decision.
It gives you the clarity to make one—when you’re ready.

And sometimes, it’s not about fixing regret. It’s about finding a way to make meaning of your story again—without erasing the sacrifices.

Beyond Regret: Questions That Lead to Healing

Many physicians who start therapy with regret eventually find themselves exploring deeper layers of identity:

• Who am I outside of medicine?

• What do I actually enjoy when I’m not “on”?

• If I could shape my schedule or career differently, what would that look like?

• What relationships, hobbies, or values have I neglected?

These aren’t hypothetical. These are the breadcrumbs that lead many clients to a life that feels more integrated—not just functional.

Some restructure their practice. Some take sabbaticals. Some don’t change a thing externally—but everything internally shifts.

That’s the power of this work.

FAQs: Physician Regret and Therapy

Is it normal to regret becoming a doctor?
Yes. Many physicians feel regret at some point—especially during transitions, burnout, or identity shifts. It doesn’t mean you’re unfit. It means you’re reflecting honestly.

Can therapy help even if I don’t want to leave medicine?
Absolutely. Therapy helps you process regret without needing to act on it. Many clients find renewed connection to their work.

What if I regret my career but don’t know what else I’d do?
You don’t need answers to begin. You just need a space where the question is allowed. Therapy is a great place to explore these thoughts.

Is this depression? Or something else?
Regret can exist without depression, but sometimes they overlap. Therapy can help differentiate and address both.

Will therapy talk me out of regret?
No. Therapy helps you understand what the regret means—and what it’s asking you to pay attention to.

Can I stay in medicine and still heal?
Yes. Many clients do. Therapy isn’t about leaving—it’s about living more freely, wherever you are.

How long does it take to feel better?
That varies. Some clients feel shifts within weeks. Others take longer. What matters is progress that feels grounded, not rushed.

Want a Space to Ask the Hard Questions—Without Judgment?

This is therapy for physicians who are high-functioning but want space to explore what could be different—a private, trusted place to talk about what they've been through and what they're still carrying.

Related Articles:

• Therapy for Physicians

• Physician Burnout vs Depression?

• EMDR for Physicians: Releasing the Weight You've Carried